As I write this, my father is heading to the doctor’s office, five days ahead of his appointment. He’s okay, but has had an odd rhythm to his heart beat for the last couple of weeks. He had a pace maker for several years now and maybe it just needs some adjustment. His regular doc said to see the heart specialist a little sooner just to be certain.
I mention that in starting this blog out of concern for my father. He has supported his son for so many years, far more than what should be expected of him. I love him and the rest of my family very much.
I’m at the point of my life that I should be taking care of my parents, be married and have a family of my own.
But that’s not how things are.
Am not blaming this ‘economic down turn’ or recession, or whatever you call it, for the situation I’m in. I’ve been here a whole lot longer then that. Certainly cannot comparing myself to so many people out there who are suffering far worse.
But I feel guilty not being a better support to my family, or to my fiancée. A fiancée who has been so patient with me, that if it wasn’t for my financial situation I would have married her years ago. Should be at her side constantly, but I’m not and that makes me feel terrible.
I am blessed with the current job I have, but it’s only two days a week and will end in February. I don’t know what I am going to do next.
Also, don’t know what else I can do to find a job that I’m not already doing.
I’d prefer a job at one of the studios, especially in animation, but it doesn’t have to be; “I’ll bring my own broom.” A long-term job does need to be in the Burbank/Glendale area so I can be near my fiancée and she can keep her job once we’re married. Suggestions?
Don’t mean to run down this path again and complain to you all about my problems, I’m just in the mood to write this out as I wait for my dad to get back home with a report from the doc.
You know, as bad as yesterday’s headache was (I see people are regularly reading the blog about my killer headaches), it’s really nothing compared to worrying if your parent’s heart is going to stop.
My dad just got home. The doctor was able to explain to him what the odd rhythm is, and that the pace maker has recorded a whole lot more of them. He also explained why my dad has been feeling them more often recently.
It turns out not to be anything to really be concerned about, thank God. So with the answers provided the anxiety is gone.
But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about him and the rest of my family and praying that I can do more for them.
Thank you Lord.
Kevin Paul Shaw Broden
Four Names of Professional Creativity