I feel ghosted…

And I really don’t know what that means…

Unfortunately, I have a pretty good idea what it means. The sudden ending of communications between people when there was an expectation of something further to exist. This could be in a romantic relationship, or business relationship, or even as in my case of job opportunities where the person involved just seems to forget you were in communications about a job.

I’m sure this isn’t anything new, and certain not unique to me, but it can be really infuriating when you think there’s a chance of actually landing a job at a company.

The other day an employment agent had to reassure me that they never ‘ghost’ anyone. I believed them, and they’ve remained in contact with me, even after the client chose not to hire me. Now days later, I begin to wonder if the concern of being ‘ghosted’ was something they had come across often by people that were looking for work through their agency.

Another form of being ‘ghosted’ might actually be called “Ghosted In the Machine” – You know when you fill out an online job application, it’s all in the computer. Your resume goes into the system, maybe the AI creates questions based on your resume for you to expand upon, maybe not. Then days, weeks, or even months later, you receive the rejection letter and it is clear that no real human actually ever looked at your application or resume. It’s all automated.

A far worse ‘ghosted’ experience I had years ago was when I applied for an assist position with an office retail store. They brought me to the back of the store where the offices for the managers were. The secretary handed me the application, and I filled it out and returned it.

“The manager will be with you in a few minutes.”

I don’t mind waiting, really, I don’t, I know people are busy. I’ve come to their offices and can wait for them to see me. At least for a little while.

I sat in the plastic chairs and waited. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, sure understandable. Employees, ones I hoped to be working with in the near futures, walked past me this way and that. Then the door of what I was certain was the manager’s office opened and someone came out, walked down the hallway and then went back in and closed the door.

Half-an-hour goes by. Forty-five minutes goes by.

By this point I was certain that I had been completely forgotten. Even the secretary who had taking my application and resume, was nowhere to be seen.

Once the hour arrived, I wasn’t going to wait any longer and marched through the store and left. If anyone was concerned that this grumbling man was stomping down the aisle, no one seemed to care.

I had been Ghosted!

I didn’t want to work there anyway!

The thing about ‘being ghosted’ that concerns me the most: Is it a verb in which the other person does by ignoring and forgetting about me?

Or far worse, is it a noun? Am I the Ghost, and no one sees me?

For some terrible reason, I am invisible to those who need to see me? Unseen by those who I want to hire me.

I know this blog isn’t being ghosted? I know you’re out there? – I hope.